


The First Cracks

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Hunter's moon 500 Word Prompts [30]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Magicless Magnus Bane, POV Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: When Magnus breaks a mug while washing dishes, it sets off an unavoidable chain of thoughts and emotions he'd rather ignore, but can't.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Hunter's moon 500 Word Prompts [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776664
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	The First Cracks

**Author's Note:**

> 500 word prompt: Crack

Magnus knows that he’s walking a precariously thin line while processing the loss of his magic. Without clients, and with Alec back at the Institute after his recovery, Magnus has more time alone with his thoughts than he cares for; so he busies himself with tasks like dusting, vacuuming (when did Chairman start to shed _this much?_ ), and dishes. He keeps the television on or music playing, loud and obtrusive, feeling only a _little_ bad that his soundproofing wards are down now and his poor neighbors can probably hear it all through the floor.

He wonders if they hear the thud of the mug he drops while trying to wash it, followed moments later by the thud of Magnus himself dropping to the floor beside it. Magnus stares blankly for a moment at the crack running down the ceramic, the spot where the handle broke off from the impact. Picking up the pieces in his hands he wills the shock to remain because it’s blissfully detached.

It doesn’t.

He thinks of the countless times he’s broken or chipped a favorite plate or cup or vase, of how simple it’d been to fix before, to preserve the pieces of his life that serve as memories of times and friends long passed.

Then he remembers that he can’t do that any longer, that _he can’t fix what’s broken now_. His mind knows that statement cruelly applies to more than just the mug in his hands, and he starts to cry.

\---

Magnus isn’t sure how long he sits there, or when he backed against the cabinet, pulling his knees to his chest, or when the sun started to set leaving him in the shadows of an unlit apartment. He’s only aware that Alec is back when he’s calling Magnus’ name and it’s too late to do anything to make himself presentable. For a moment Magnus closes his eyes and imagines a world where he still has his magic, where he could snap his fingers and erase any signs of his red, puffy eyes and tear-stained face and stand to face his boyfriend as if he’d simply been picking up something he dropped a moment ago without any need for concern.

When Magnus opens his eyes again, it’s to the harsh reality of a worried boyfriend dropping to his knees in front of Magus, on the dirty floor of the kitchen because he never did get around to sweeping.

“I can’t-” Magnus breathes shakily, unable to voice the words. “I don’t-” _I don’t know how to fix this. Me. Us._

“I know,” Alec says, understanding even without him saying it. “I’m so sorry, Magnus. We’ll figure this out. Together. I’m right here, I got you and I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus wants to believe him but centuries of experience make him wonder, now that he’s broken, how much longer Alec will _stay_.

For now, Magnus returns Alec’s embrace and does his best to take the comfort offered as a truth he clings to desperately.

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
